im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
