i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
