I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
