Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
