i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm passing your future prison.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
