I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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