so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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