I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
