ya dads aren't the best wingmen
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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