I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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