why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
