If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
