i just wanna soil my oats bro
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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