i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize