he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
