1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
