Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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