i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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