There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
