I just cut my nipple shaving
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize