you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"