Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
