So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
