I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Terrible idea I love it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.