Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize