You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When did angry sex become our thing?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How does it feel to date your dad?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so