pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
