College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
