The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize