...so i touched it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Someone came in the potted fern
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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