So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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