It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
