I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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