I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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