so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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