so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
