God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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