he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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