Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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