If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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