Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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