We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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