How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
