talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
