Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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