The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
