I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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