I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
