I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she smelled like a LAN party
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
