I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
