White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
