How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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