Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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