Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
