Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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