If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he was CRYING into my vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize