When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
