if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
