Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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