these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
