Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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