I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
