just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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