She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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