Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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