Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Screwed.edu
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
