I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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