I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
